It's that time of year again, as my American Lit. students study Emily Dickinson. Here is another round of imitation and parodies of the great poet recluse. There are the usual, but great, standbys of fart humor, but also some newly-delved topics of gaming "noobs" and the Youtube sensation Ray William Johnson. Enjoy (or not)!
My life sucks, and here's why
I sit in my room
and make myself cry.
My poems are sad and full of despair
It's too bad
No one cares.
I live by myself
with my 40 cats
and we all indulge
in their tuna packs.
I live alone
I have no friends
and this is how
my story ends.
--Caitlin, Logan, and Jhamil
Heart! We will destroy him!
You and I -- tonight!
You will bring the shovel for the grave --
We will be free by morning light!
When we are done, we need to flee --
Or else on a noose we will be.
Haste! Time is running short.
We will soon forget him.
-- Kasey, Angel, and Caleb
I heard a guy Fart When I Died
The smell in the room
was like the smell in the air
between the passes of gasses.
The noses around -- had pinched them closed
And breaths, were being held
for that last rip -- when the big one
was smelled -- in the room --
I willed my nostrils -- closed them up --
How powerful that smell be
Fresh air -- how I longed for --
and I loathed that darn guy.
And shoo -- loud and rumbling fast --
between the stench and me
And then I breathed my last breath --
--as I cried sweet liberty!
-- Garrett, Brandon, and Mary
This is my letter to the Noobs
Who don't play MLG --
Those worthless noobs and scrubs--
Those not as good as me.
My skills, they are the greatest
You will ever see--
For my skills in Halo--
They come from MLG!
Tribute to Ray William Johnson
The creepy guy-- stares back at us --
with a look that wants too much --
And a deer that's never felt the run
of a nice -- failure -- Drunk
He speaks with lips that make us laugh
But never have ended squaids
And talks with careful seriousness
that has never been dissed
The Youtube man is straight and forward
Great enough to feel
But who is to say, on the other side,
He's not the one who's trollin'?
Ray William is a wonderful thing
That sometimes shows Fatty Spins
But while we try not to crack
The two camels is what breaks us
-- Andrea and Aimee